


The Present

by LyriumAddict (ZombieJesus)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Dominance, Dubious Consent, M/M, Sexual Tension, Slavery, Submission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-28 03:56:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2717936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieJesus/pseuds/LyriumAddict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danarius tells Fenris that he will be given to his new apprentice, Hawke, as a welcoming present. Until now, Fenris has only ever performed body guard duties as a slave, but Danarius makes it clear that he wants Fenris to make Hawke happy. *Very* happy.</p><p>Unbeknownst to Danarius, Hawke is infiltrating his household to sniff out the source of a particularly nasty brand of blood magic. But, Hawke hadn't planned on Fenris.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mysterious Skin

Fenris quickened his pace behind Danarius, trying to keep up with his master's long strides to his study. Danarius cast an annoyed look over his shoulder. "Hurry up Fenris, we have a lot of work to do."

Fenris bowed his head subserviently and sped up. "Yes Dominus." He wondered what his master was in such an excited state about and hoped that it wasn't bad news. Whenever Danarius was in a bad mood, Fenris was usually the one who bore the brunt of his anger. Danarius was adept at using magic to heal any unsightly bruises or cuts on his valuable property, but the emotional scars and the memories of punishment never faded from Fenris' mind. Just last week, a minor slight by some visiting Tevinter magister left Danarius so enraged that after the banquet he beat Fenris with his staff until he was too tired to continue.

Ironic, Fenris thought, that a bodyguard would need protecting from his ward.

But, such was the life of a slave, and Fenris **was** a slave. He had no memories of his childhood, thanks to the blood magic which etched the lyrium tattoos upon his skin. But Danarius liked to remind him that Fenris' mother was a prostitute who had sold him for barely a silver. That she didn't love him. That no one would ever love him. No one, that is, but Danarius.

And Fenris believed it. How could he not? He saw how the other magisters sneered at him, detested him, or worse, pretended he wasn't there. The other slaves shunned him for being "unnatural" and due to the perception that he was proud. But, Fenris was not proud. No, that was just armor he used to protect himself from the darkness of his life, as real as the plated mail he donned each morning. Friends he could not afford. Because once he started to care about anything or anyone, that became a tool for Danarius to use to punish him. Best for him to be isolated, alone. To take pleasure and relief in Danarius' good days- days when he might allow Fenris a bath or an extra helping of food. A rare kind word. To sleep on the settee next to Danarius' bed instead on the floor. To attend him at a banquet where he might look on the splendor of the Tevinter nobility with awe and listen to music to lift his soul from this hellish place. In those moments he would wonder if this was all life really held for him, if there was not something more than this?

Those thoughts were dangerous, more dangerous than any beating or punishment could ever be. So, Fenris pushed them down, buried them, reminding himself he was a slave and would be one forever.

Danarius breezed through the door to his study then shut it when Fenris followed just behind. He immediately sat at his enormous desk, intricately carved in some distant land, and reached for a parchment and quill. Fenris assumed his usual post by the door, upright and gazing forward impassively.

After a few minutes of hurried scribbling, Danarius motioned to Fenris to approach. "Sit down, Fenris. There's something we must discuss."

Fenris walked forward hesitantly, trying to discern the tone of his master's voice. Was something wrong? Would he be punished? It was unlike Danarius to "discuss" anything with him. Usually it was just orders.

Danarius sighed impatiently. "Stop looking so worried Fenris. Just sit down." He pointed to a chair opposite the desk, and Fenris sat stiffly in it.

Danarius picked up the freshly inked parchment and rolled it up. He took a stick of wax and began to warm it in the candle flame. He continued speaking, barely looking at Fenris. "I've accepted an apprentice. From Ferelden, no less. His name is Hawke, and he is arriving tonight."

Fenris knew that this would likely mean a welcoming ceremony and banquet tonight. The acceptance of an apprentice was a meaningful event for both the magister and the apprentice, similar to naming an heir. But what did that have to do with him? "Yes, Dominus. Shall I...arrange the banquet?"

Danarius smeared the wax on the paper and then stamped his seal on it. "No, no, I've already got Lotho and the kitchen at work on that." He blew on the wax to cool it. "I'm presenting Hawke with a gift tonight as part of the welcoming ceremony." He handed Fenris the scroll across the desk and looked him dead in the eyes. "You."

Fenris stared back blankly at Danarius, not quite comprehending the words. His master was….giving him away? "Dominus….I…I don't understand. Have I displeased you?" He spoke quietly and kept his eyes on the ground.

"No Fenris, but it is not your place to question my decisions. Hawke is…well, he's special. An apprentice with unlimited potential. He needs a body guard and you will suffice. I have two new guards that have been trained and are now ready to assume your role as my guard."

Fenris nodded solemnly, not sure what this will mean, but knowing that it would mean separation from the only person he really knew. And that terrified him. Who was this Hawke?

Danarius pointed to the scroll. "Now. Take that scroll to Lotho and he will see that you are properly prepared for tonight. I expect you to be on your best behavior and to serve Hawke as well as you have me." He looked sternly at Fenris. "Do not disappoint me Fenris."

"No Dominus, I won't disappoint you." He stood and bowed to Danarius. "Your will be done."

Danarius nodded briefly then returned to his papers. "Go now."

Fenris turned on his heel and started to walk out of the room clutching the scroll, crushing it in his panic.

Danarius spoke again as he reached the door. "Fenris." Fenris paused and turned. "I expect you to make him happy. _Exceptionally_ so. Do you understand me?" Danarius' eyes nearly crackled with dangerous magic.

Fenris nodded. "Of course Dominus." Once outside the study, he braced himself against the wall and took a few deep breaths with his eyes closed. He wasn't sure what this would mean, but it seemed certain that his life was about to change.

\------

Lotho scanned the unfurled parchment with interest, as Fenris stood silently in the steward's office. When he was done, he raised his gaze to Fenris with a smirk. "So, you're to be given to Danarius' new apprentice. Tut tut tut. I wonder what you did to anger him so, hmm?" Fenris met his gaze with steely silence.

Lotho sighed and tossed the paper aside. "Well, no matter. I've been tasked with seeing that you are presentable for the banquet tonight." He cocked his head to the side with a puzzled look on his face. "Although Danarius has made a few strange requests. But, we shall see that they are done in any case." He sat back at his desk and tented his fingers. "First things first. Go bathe. The clothes you will be wearing tonight will be brought to you. Someone will then escort you to the dining hall when it is time to present you."

Fenris nodded and headed to the baths. He was pleasantly surprised to see that he was escorted to the hot baths this time, an unusual treat, and was provided with lightly-scented soap. Just before he was finished, another slave Tor entered with his clothes and set them on a chair, then left. Fenris dried off and picked up the clothes. They were richly embroidered brocade, a fine Tevinter set of clothes- much too fine for a slave. He fingered the silver buckles and soft fabric. Had they made a mistake? But Tor was gone, and there was nothing else for him to wear. So, a bit hesitantly, he put on the clothes and smoothed his silver-white hair out of his eyes.

Within a minute, Tor was back. "I'm to escort you to the dining hall now."

Fenris felt his stomach clench. "Wait….I…." He looked down at his clothes. "Am I really to be dressed in such a way?"

Tor nodded. "This is what Lotho had me bring." Then remembering something, he reached into his pocket. "Almost forgot. You're to wear this too." He held out a thin silver filagree collar to Fenris.

Fenris stared at it. He'd never been made to wear a collar before by Danarius, even one purely meant for decoration such as this one. But he took it slowly as Tor thrust it at him again. His heart sank as he fixed it around his neck. Fine clothes or no, he was a slave, and Danarius intended to remind him of such.

Tor sneered at Fenris' disappointment. "Oh, think you're too good to wear a collar like the rest of us, eh?" He thumped his own leather collar.

"No, I….just…."

"Forgot you was a slave, did you?"

Fenris shot him an angry look but his voice was calm. "I could never forget that." He felt the lyrium in his skin pulse with light briefly, and Tor took a step back.

"Best you don't, then. You'll have a new master now." Tor turned shakily and walked out of the baths, beckoning Fenris to follow him nervously.

He heard the light music coming from the dining room and smelled the rich dishes as they walked down the hall. Fenris made out Danarius' booming voice, he was in the middle of giving a toast in his new apprentice's honor. As Fenris walked in, they were all drinking merrily, the dishes being cleared from the table by a host of kitchen slaves. Danarius occupied his usual seat at the head of the huge table, and at his right was his steward Lotho. At his left was a young male mage that Fenris had never seen before- this must be Hawke, he guessed. He had lustrous black hair and looked more the part of a warrior than a mage. Tanned, muscled, Hawke seemed to radiate strength and confidence. He was toasting with Danarius when he caught Fenris' eye across the room.

Fenris stopped in place, rooted to the floor both by fear of the unknown and…something else. An electricity, a spark that passed between he and Hawke--had it been some charm or magic? Tor turned and grabbed his arm, pulling him across the dining room and towards Danarius who now saw their approach.

"Ah! And now, Ser Hawke, I wish to make you a present." Danarius stood and strode over to Fenris. 

Hawke laughed, "Danarius, your generosity knows no bounds. Surely, being made your apprentice is gift enough?" Fenris thought he detected a hint of sarcasm but Danarius apparently did not notice. 

Danarius stood directly in front of Fenris, and whispered, "Remember what we discussed in my study. You are to please him, or I will hear of it." He clipped a fine silver leash to Fenris' collar and gave it a slight tug, leading him over to the table in front of Hawke. Leading him like a dog.

He handed the end of the leash to Hawke, who hesitated but then took it. Hawke looked from the leash, to Fenris, to Danarius. Hawke seemed to lose his cool a moment, his smile faltering. "I'm sorry, I--"

But Danarius didn't let him finish, waving his hand. "No, no false modestly Hawke. I wish to make you a gift of the finest slave in my household, one trained as a body guard who will protect you with his life." All eyes were on them. "Fenris."

Fenris went to one knee, eyes to the ground, addressing his new master. "Dominus, I pledge to serve and protect you with my life, for my life."

Hawke was speechless, but Danarius easily filled the silence, regaling the table with tales of the men Fenris had killed, the plots against his life Fenris had foiled, his slave's unparalleled strength. By the end of it, Hawke had regained his composure enough to affect a smile again and offer the expected words of gratitude. But Fenris could tell, something was wrong. Perhaps Hawke was not pleased with him, thought him ugly, did not like elves? Fenris thought fearfully of Danarius' veiled threats.

_I must make Hawke happy._

Lotho approached Hawke with a low bow. "Ser, if you wish, I will escort Fenris to your chambers."

Hawke looked a bit taken aback again, but saw that Danarius was gloating proudly over his gift and nodded, handing over the leash, and looking frankly glad to be rid of it.

\-----

Hawke had had one too many glasses of Tevinter brandy and his head was pleasantly swimming dizzily. Tor gently led him to the door of his chambers, the most opulent guest quarters in the tower. He bowed low. "Here you are ser, I hope you have a pleasant night." 

Hawke nodded a bit drunkenly and shoved a silver into Tor's hand, then pushed open the door before Tor could protest, closing it behind him with relief. Finally, he was alone. Maker, that banquet! How was he going to survive this abysmal place if……but wait…..Hawke felt eyes on him….a presence, even through the brandy….

He was most definitely **not** alone.

Fenris was kneeling next to his bed, shirtless, eyes downcast, hands on the tops of his knees. The room was dimly illuminated with candles, and their light fell upon the elf casting his white hair and silver tattoos in a golden, flickering light. 

Hawke looked around the room in awe, taking in its plush luxury. The huge bed with velvet canopy, thick woven tapestries beneath his feet, gilded works of Tevinter art adorning the walls. His gaze settled again on Fenris, another beautiful novelty in this palace. But this one was…a person. A _slave_. He had had little experience with slaves. None, really. The whole notion of slavery was distasteful to him but he knew he might encounter it when he took this job in Tevinter. He just hadn't thought he'd have to deal with it personally. Ugh…this was making his head hurt.

Fenris shifted slightly as Hawke took a few steps towards him. "Dominus. I await your command." Barely above a whisper. Eyes still downcast.

Hawke shut his eyes tight, trying to stave off the inevitable headache. "Fenris, was it?" 

"Yes Dominus."

Hawke collapsed into an overstuffed chair next to the crackling fireplace. How was he to deal with this? If he sent the slave away, as he wanted to do, Danarius would surely be offended and may catch on to him. It may blow his cover. Surely a "true apprentice" accepting a role in Tevinter society would not be squeamish about slaves. No, to fulfill his purpose here, he'd have to momentarily play along with the rules of this land, however distasteful they might seem now. His mission was to determine whether Danarius was truly attempting to build an army using blood magic- a mission that may save the lives of many people, slaves especially. He couldn't let his ethical qualms get in the way of that now that he was here.

When Hawke opened his eyes, he saw that Fenris was staring at him with poorly-veiled fear and uncertainty. His heart went out to this elf. If he had to play the role of Master, at least Hawke would be a kind one. He smiled at Fenris. "Come here by the fire. You must be freezing." Hawke gritted his teeth a little as Fenris crawled over to him and sat at his feet by the fire, eyes still looking away.

Hawke gently pulled the elf's chin upwards, forcing his eyes to meet his. "You can look at me you know." He felt a shudder run through Fenris' body and he dropped his hand. But Fenris held his gaze, a curious look in his eyes.

"Domi--I mean, Ser Danarius would never permit me to look at him."

"Well I permit it."

"As you wish." Fenris held his gaze a bit longer before nervously looking away, down to Hawke's boots. He reached out and started to undo the buckles. "Shall I help you undress, Dominus?"

"Um….yes, actually." It felt odd, but Hawke actually did need the help. "I fear I've had a bit too much to brandy tonight."

"Of course Dominus." Fenris deftly removed Hawke's boots then stood and retrieved a comfortable-looking silk robe, placing it by the fire to warm. He leaned over Hawke as he unfastened the buttons of his jacket one by one, and Hawke could smell the clean scent of soap and feel his warm breath. Hawke stood up and helped shrug off the jacket and undershirt then steadied himself against the chair as Fenris dropped to his knees and began to unfasten his pants. 

That's when Hawke noticed that it might not be the best time to take off his pants after all. What with the drink and the subservient, half-naked elf in front of him…..Hawke was hard. But by then, it was too late to protest. Fenris had his pants down to his ankles and had stopped, obviously noticing that unmistakeable bulge in his smallclothes, Hawke thought with a blush. But when he looked down at Fenris, the elf was gazing up at him expectantly. Fenris tentatively reached out and ran his hand from Hawke's calf up to the back of his thigh, making Hawke shudder.

"Dominus, I want to make you happy. Command me to do anything and I shall do it." He took Hawke's hand and kissed inside his palm lightly, then slowly began to lick and suck his fingers.

Fenris traced his fingers lightly over the bulge in Hawkes smallclothes. Hawke looked down, entranced. "Maker…." He'd only thought he was hard before- now he was positively throbbing.

"Does this please you?" Fenris purred.

"Yes--" Hawke blurted it out, but then thought harder about the situation. Fenris was a slave- he was only doing this because he thought it was expected of him. "Wait….I….." Hawke caught Fenris' wrists and pulled him to standing. "Fenris, I can't let you do this. **I** can't do this." Hawke walked past him unsteadily and grabbed the robe, pulling it on hurriedly, and sitting on the bed across the room.

Fenris let his arms fall limply at his side and stared downwards. "I have offended you." He turned towards the fire, away from Hawke. Softer, "I disgust you."

"No!" A bit louder than he meant to say, but it got Fenris to turn around and face him. "Its not that….at all." Hawke ran his hand through his hair. Andraste's tits, he was in a bind now. "I'm not used to…um…being around slaves, I guess. Not knowing when someone is doing something because they want to, or because they have to."

"And I'm not used to being around someone who cares to know the difference." Fenris said it so softly to himself, Hawke wasn't sure he was meant to hear it.

Hawke fell back on the bed's soft pillows, the complexity of the situation overwhelming his booze-addled mind and pushing him towards sleep. "Fenris…"

In an instant, Fenris was by his side. "Command me Dominus."

Hawke chuckled, nearly dozing off. "Alright then. Stop calling me Dominus. At least when its just me here. I'm Hawke. Just…..Hawke."

Fenris didn't know what to say. "I'm…sorry. I've done everything wrong tonight. I only want to please you."

Hawke's eyes closed and as he drifted off, he smiled a bit. "I'd be pleased if we could be friends. Maker knows I'll need one…."


	2. A Dangerous Dream

It had been a good long while since Hawke had experienced a true-to-life hangover, but as he squinted in the early morning light, he knew he was in for a doozy today. His skull felt like it was a few sizes too small for his brain, and his body ached all over. Gods--what did they put in that Tevinter brandy? He thought how hard Varric would laugh if he could see him now. Well, he'd be having a few words with that dwarf when he got back to Ferelden. Varric had been the one who'd set him up with this damned mission in the first place. And had somehow failed to warn him about the brandy. Hmph.

Hawke sat up in the plush canopied bed and stretched his arms over his head. Suddenly he remembered Fenris, and what had happened the night before as he'd gotten undressed…. He stopped mid-stretch and grimaced a little in embarrassment. What a way to start his mission off…Hawke hoped he hadn't made too much of an ass of himself but couldn't only remember bits and pieces. He stood up and glanced around the room hurriedly. Fenris was nowhere to be seen, he noted with some relief.

Hawke walked over to the fireplace, still burning well, and warmed his hands over it. Just a few seconds later, he heard a soft tap at his door. He took a deep breath and called, "Come in!" over his shoulder. He heard the door open and softly shut, and the footsteps behind him. Hawke turned to see Fenris, freshly bathed and dressed, holding a silver tray filled with the delicacies of Tevinter.

Fenris walked towards Hawke and set the tray down on a little table near the overstuffed chair near the fire. "Your breakfast, Dominus." He bowed then stepped away at once and went to stand near the door, gazing forward impassively as he had been taught.

Hawke sighed, but smirked a little at the elf. "Now Fenris, I thought we agreed that you would call me Hawke." He sat down in the chair languidly.

Fenris shifted nervously on his feet but nodded, "Yes, my apologies…Hawke. I will remember from now on." His gaze remained forward.

Hawke picked up a delicious-looking pastry and examined it. This was a far cry from the usual pub gruel he was used to for breakfast, and there was far too much of it for just himself. "Fenris, come over here."

Fenris walked towards Hawke a bit warily, then knelt in front of him. "Command me, D-…Hawke." Fenris looked decidedly uncomfortable using Hawke's real name, but got it out with some effort.

Hawke grinned. "Well, then….I command you to share my breakfast with me."

Fenris' eyes shot up to meet Hawke's in surprise. "S-ser?"

Hawke pointed to the chair across from his. "Yes, it would please me very much if you would eat with me."

Fenris gave Hawke an odd look but did as he asked. He stiffly sat in the chair, but only looked at the food and didn't touch it. Hawke handed him a pastry and watched him until he took a hesitant bite. Fenris' eyes widened a bit at the sweet, rich taste, and Hawke couldn't help but chuckle.

"See, its not so bad." He grabbed a piece of fruit and bit into its juicy flesh, sizing up the elf across from him who was now nibbling on the pastry with gusto. Fenris could really only be called beautiful--his slim, muscular physique, his mysterious almond eyes, the silver tattoos, his soft white hair. Even the graceful way he moved. Hawke remembered from last night that he'd…rejected Fenris' advances and now kicked himself. But then…yes, it was right to stop, because he couldn't be certain whether he was just doing it because he thought he had to. But, he wanted to get to know this elf. Not as a slave, but as a person.

"Fenris, tell me about yourself."

Fenris froze a second, and then spoke very softly. "I am a slave, that is all."

Hawke paused. "That isn't all you are."

"It is all I can allow myself to be, as I will always be one."

"How did you come to be with Danarius?"

Fenris looked away, gazing into the fire. After a long moment of silence he said, "My mother sold me to him when I was a small child."

"Is that what he told you?"

"Yes. Many times. He loves to remind me of it."

Hawke's eyes narrowed, a feeling of loathing for Danarius overtaking him. "It might not be true."

Fenris shrugged. "Does it matter?" He looked up and held Hawke's gaze. "The outcome is the same, is it not?" The bitterness dripped from his words. 

Hawke leaned forward, excited that the elf was finally engaging, speaking honestly. "Do you wish to leave here? To be something else?"

A look a fear came over Fenris' face, and he snapped back into himself. He stood up nervously. "Domi--…Hawke…. do not think I do not appreciate your kindness. But this, " he motioned to the table and to Hawke, "is dangerous. For me. Please, I cannot speak of these things. Forgive me." His tone was nearly pleading.

Hawke nodded in assent, sadly understanding. He finished his fruit and took a deep drink of bitter coffee, and stood up as well. "I suppose that Danarius has plans for me today?"

Fenris nodded. "He requests that you meet him in his study at your earliest possible convenience to start your training."

"I see." Hawke glanced around the room, looking for his clothes with a weary sigh. "In that case, perhaps you can show me what I should wear."

"As you wish."

\------------

Danarius had held nothing back when it had come to Hawke's training. Blood magic was much more accepted in Tevinter than in Ferelden, and held a place in nearly every magister's spell book here. Hawke had had to assume a poker face when Danarius had brought forth a "willing" participant for his ritual; it had taken all of Hawke's composure not to stop Danarius from cutting the slave's palm during the blood extraction. Hawke had performed a basic healing spell on the slave when Danarius wasn't looking, it was the least that Hawke could do, even if it was risky. But Danarius did not notice, he was too enthralled with the effects of his magic to see anyone or anything outside of it. 

At the end of the day, Hawke felt mentally and emotionally drained. This job was unlike any other he had taken. Usually a client would just have a menial task that needed some brute strength or cunning, some problem to be solved, some person to be rescued, a treasure to found. But this was far, far harder. The amount of human suffering embodied by all the slaves in Tevinter was overwhelming, and Hawke knew that even if his mission to stop Danarius succeeded, there was little hope of ending the greater scourge of slavery here. 

But perhaps he could help one slave. One person.

 _Fenris_.

As Hawke tiredly headed back to his quarters, his mind was filled with thoughts of the elf. He knew he'd be there, waiting for him. Waiting for his master. Their conversation that morning had not been far from his mind. It was obvious that Fenris had dreams of leaving, of being more. Dreams that he knew were too dangerous to hold, let alone voice. It would be difficult, but perhaps he could win the elf's trust somehow. Yeah….this job wasn't one of the easier ones at all.

Hawke opened the door to his room and, sure enough, Fenris was there, kneeling next to his bed, shirtless, as he had been the previous night. Except something was different, something was wrong. Fenris was slightly trembling in the soft candlelight, and had a deep black bruise across his face.

Hawke hurried inside and shut the door, going to his knees next to Fenris, to the elf's great surprise. "Fenris, what happened? Who did this to you?" He softly brushed the elf's white hair to the side to get a better look at the bruise.

Fenris lightly flinched at Hawke's touch and just shook his head resolutely. "Please….don't." Fenris looked up, his eyes deep pools of emotion. "Hawke..."

Hawke softened slightly, but his words were steel. "It was Danarius, wasn't it?" Fenris didn't answer but his silence spoke well enough in the place of words. Hawke rolled back on his haunches, considering what to do. If he killed Danarius now, he might not learn all he needed to to fulfill his mission…..but seeing this abuse, and what he'd witnessed earlier....he wasn't sure if he could face Danarius tomorrow without sword in hand.

"Why….why did he do this?"

Fenris looked up at Hawke, miserable. "He believes I am not…..pleasing you." He looked away, humiliated.

"That isn't true!" Hawke leapt up and paced his room, sick at the thought that Fenris' pain was somehow his fault. "You've been a perfect…."

"Slave?"

Hawke stopped pacing. It was time for truth. "I don't want you to be my slave, Fenris. I don't want to be your master."

Fenris' face fell and his eyes locked to the floor. "Yes, I have displeased you again. I know I am….ugly…and stupid…but….master…Hawke--can you find it within yourself to permit me to be your slave? I will try to do everything you desire!"

Hawke whirled around in frustration. "Maker's breath! Is that what you think?" He sank down next to Fenris again. He raised his hand to Fenris' face. "Will you permit me to heal this?" Fenris looked wary but nodded finally. Hawke performed his basic healing spell, the same one he'd used on the slave earlier, and watched with relief as the bruise faded from the elf's face. Fenris visibly relaxed as the pain eased, and looked to Hawke with gratitude. "Thank you Hawke."

Hawke nodded and stood up, then held his hand out to Fenris. "Stand up, I have to show you something." Fenris uncomfortably took his hand and pulled himself to standing, then Hawke led him to the full length mirror in the corner. 

Fenris tried to turn away from his reflection, but Hawke gently held him still. "Look at the mirror. Tell me what you see."

"I see….you…and me…."

"More than that. Look deeper."

"I see my master." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "You are….beautiful. And I am….hideous."

Hawke sighed sadly. "No Fenris. That is not what I see, what anyone who looks at you sees." He stood behind and whispered softly. "You are gorgeous Fenris." He ran his hands lightly over Fenris' bare muscular arms. "Danarius has lied to you."

Fenris whirled around to face Hawke, shaking his head, looking for the trick. "No…."

Hawke smiled and brushed Fenris' hair out of his eyes. "Yes. Can you not believe what I am telling you? I speak the truth."

"Then why did you….last night….you…." Fenris stammered awkwardly, confused.

"I stopped you because, no matter how much I wanted you, and I DID want you….I wanted to make sure you really wanted it too. That you weren't just doing it because you were afraid. Of this." Hawke touched the spot on Fenris' face where the bruise had been. 

Fenris held Hawke's gaze without looking away, more than a little taken aback by Hawke's confession. "Hawke, you are the first person who's ever spoken to me like I'm real, not just a slave or something to be used and thrown away." He took a step closer to Hawke, until their lips were barely apart. His whispered hoarsely, "How could I not want you?" 

Hawke breathed in the elf's heady scent-- a musky but clean smell of soap and the backdoors secrets of the slave quarters. He wanted nothing more than to grab Fenris and kiss him, hard, but still something held him back. Was Fenris speaking his own mind, or what he thought Danarius wanted him to do? How could he ever know?

"Fenris…I…let me tell you that I want nothing more than to take you at your word. _Believe me_."

"But you can't believe me, can you?"

Hawke stepped back a pace and ran his hand through his hair. "I want to trust you, and for you to trust me." Hawke turned, but kept speaking. "But I have to be honest with you if we are going to trust each other. I have to….know…where your loyalties lie."

"With you, Hawke. I pledged my life to you. I'm yours, as long as you'll have me."

Hawke sighed and faced Fenris. "Then you have to know why I am really here, and then you can decide what you really think of me."

"Really here?" His eyes narrowed.

Hawke lowered his voice and stepped close to the elf, nearly whispering. "I'm here to gather information on Danarius that will likely destroy him. My friends in Ferelden believe he is attempting to build an army with blood magic. I'm here to find out if that is true, and bring proof back to them."

Fenris inhaled sharply, eyes going wide. His mouth opened a bit then shut.

Hawke went on. "I detest blood magic, Fenris, and slavery, for all the suffering its caused here." He took the elf's hand. "Suffering its caused you, and all the slaves of Tevinter. Its the hardest thing I've ever had to see."

Fenris slowly found his voice again. "So you…you don't want to be a magister like Danarius?" Hawke smirked and slowly shook his head. "And you…are here to betray him, not be his apprentice?" Hawke nodded solemnly. Fenris fell silent again, a shocked look on his face.

"I know that Danarius is the only person you've been close to your adult life….I know that sometimes he must have been kind. This can't be easy for you." Fenris looked down, but nodded slightly. Hawke went on, "But Fenris, when I leave here, I….want you to come with me. To come to Ferelden. And be free."

"Free?" Fenris had barely even let himself think the word. Saying it took a lot more effort. But after he'd said it, it hung in the air like a long and beautiful musical note. Could he really be free? Could he trust this stranger, now his master, to truly help him be free? "But I belong to you…."

"You do not belong to me Fenris. Or to anyone. That way is wrong. What Danarius is doing here is wrong."

Fenris looked up at Hawke with new eyes, starting to fill with tears. "You're right, Hawke. You're right….I just never thought anyone….would care, could care…."

"I do."

"Why? You don't know me, anything about me."

"I know that I'm incredibly attracted to you." Hawke smirked down at Fenris, who managed a shy smile in return. "And I know that I couldn't feel good about leaving you here to _that_." He pointed his thumb in the general direction of Danarius. 

Fenris was quiet for a moment, then looked at Hawke with resolve. "I…I can only thank you then, and hope that I can repay you one day." Hawke tried to cut him off, but Fenris silenced him with a finger on his lips. "Whether I am a slave or no, I will serve you and protect you Hawke. If we truly get out of here, the only way I could go would be if you allowed me to protect you….as a free man."

Hawke smiled. "If that is your choice."

"It is."

"Then I accept." 

Fenris let his hand travel up Hawke's jacket and entwine in his hair, and gave him a curious look that finally gave way to a reluctant smile. "You are the most unusual man I have ever met."

Hawke laughed softly. "I can't say that you are very 'usual' either."

"And will you believe me now then, Hawke, now that you've made your confession and I'm still here?"

"Believe what exactly?"

"That I want you."

Hawke smirked a bit. "Perhaps. But we are hardly on equal footing here yet…"

The elf pressed close to Hawke, breathing the same air. "Does that matter so much to you?"

"You barely know me." Hawke felt a bit dizzy being so close to Fenris, his self-control slipping more and more.

The elf nodded but didn't relent. "And you know me not at all, yet you are willing to risk your life to give me freedom."

"Anyone would do the same." Although he knew it wasn't true. Not here, in Tevinter, where slavery was as normal and accepted as afternoon tea.

A bitter laugh died in Fenris' throat, and his eyes flashed at Hawke. "And yet here I am, still a slave after all these years." He stepped back and turned his back with a sigh. "I shall not push you Hawke." He looked over his shoulder at him. "But you know where I stand."

Hawke looked towards the door to his room, now feeling more like a prison than the luxurious chamber of an honored guest, his mind traveling through the marbled halls of this castle and into its dark heart where Danarius slept, untroubled. "Fenris, when we both stand free men, only then will I know where you stand."


	3. Reaching Out

Fenris laid awake deep into the night. Hawke had made him a comfortable pallet on the floor next to his bed with the extra pillows and plush blankets heaped in the room, but still, he couldn't sleep. That word kept echoing inside him, whispering, calling, singing. _Free_.

And an equally loud voice was screaming it down. The same voice that had told him over and over all these years that he was a slave, a filthy and soulless being. Someone whose only worth lie in the service of another, better man. A real person. That dreams about being anything else were just that- dreams. And Fenris knew that dreams could be as deadly as knives. Or as blood magic.

It hadn't been long - five or six years since - that he had seen what dreams had wrought. His friend Taira. She had had a dream too.

Fenris remembered….

Taira came to Danarius' house as a young woman, sold into slavery as an adult to pay her husband's gambling debts. She'd had a fine voice and Danarius would often make her sing at his banquets and parties as entertainment. He'd also made her do many other unspeakable things, things that she would tell Fenris between sobs in the secret halls where only the slaves would go. The helplessness Fenris felt hearing her nightly confessions still clenched his guts. He'd had no advice to give then, no comfort or solace. No hope. She hadn't understood that this was life now. She still clung to her "other" self, the self where she had been free. She dreamed of escaping. And one day, she tried.

Of course, she didn't make it. Fenris had seen this type of thing before and no one ever made it. 

Danarius was not one to let his property slip away so easily, see. He had placed a charm on her collar so he would know exactly where she was at any time. And when he was alerted that she was at the back gates of the garden, attempting to slip away, he paralyzed her from afar. Just like that.

Fenris still remembered the look on her face, how it was paralyzed in a moment of horrible realization, when he followed Danarius into the garden that night. Shock was plainly there, but Fenris remembered the sadness more, the blank look in her eyes upon understanding that her dream was well and truly dead. And Fenris remembered the gloating, furious tone in Danarius' voice when he ordered him to kill Taira. To kill his friend. It had been the one time that Fenris has ever hesitated to carry out an order of Danarius,' even a lethal one. His hesitation had earned him the special pain spell that his master reserved just for him, using his lyrium tattoos as conduit.

He had no choice. Slaves never had a choice.

He had reached inside Taira's chest and squeezed the hot life from her beating heart, killing her and her stupid meaningless dream, hot angry tears blurring his vision, blurring his memories.

Why should he think that he and Hawke would be luckier than Taira? His dream of freedom was no more sincere than hers, his reasons for living and wanting escape no more real.

Fenris lie very still and calmed himself listening to the soft and steady breathing of Hawke above him. 

Hawke had no idea what he was up against.

\---------------

Hawke woke with the dawn, and as the day before, saw that Fenris had already left. He'd felt immensely better after telling Fenris the truth last night and exhilaration that the elf had agreed to come with him to Ferelden. Hawke intended to follow through on his promise no matter what.

He climbed out of bed and opened the wardrobe, picking out one of the least opulent of the dozens of rich robes within. No sooner had he shrugged it on than he heard a knock.

"Come in!" Hawke called out, expecting Fenris. But when the door opened, it was Lotho, the steward, who stood in the doorway.

Lotho stepped inside and bowed low. "Forgive me, Ser Hawke. Master Danarius requests that you have breakfast with him in the garden this morning, if it please you ser."

Hawke studied Lotho a moment- he was a sniveling, untrustworthy sort. Precisely the type of man that Hawke expected to be running a household such as this. He nodded. "Very well. Please lead the way."

Lotho bowed again and led Hawke down a few long, winding marble hallways. Kitchen and household slaves scurried this way and that, going about their chores and careful never to meet Hawke's eyes. Lotho prattled on as they walked- about the art on the walls, the history of the castle, a particularly detailed carving depicting some battle or another. Hawke tried to feign interest but was actively taking note of the layout of the house. Might come in handy later, he thought.

Soon they stepped into a glass solarium which opened out onto the meticulously manicured garden beyond. The trees and shrubs had all been intricately trimmed - by art or by magic, Hawke could not say - into fantastic mythic beasts. Unicorns, dragons, manticores, centaurs, gnomes - all perfectly rendered to the tiniest detail. And set in the center was a fountain rimmed with jeweled fish spraying water into a shell held by a gilded mermaid.

Danarius sat at a table next to the fountain, poring over a dusty spell book intently, but looked up as Hawke approached. "Hawke! Sit, sit. Come enjoy the fresh Tevinter air!" He motioned to the empty seat but kept his eyes intently on Hawke.

Hawke affected a smile and sat across from Danarius. "Of course. Many thanks for the invitation this morning."

Danarius waved him off. "Never mind that. Here- have some coffee." He motioned to a nearby slave to pour Hawke a cup. "And do try those tarts there. My chef's specialty."

Hawke took the cup from the slave, gritting his teeth a bit. "Don't mind if I do." He took a long sip of the strong stuff, steeling himself as he remembered the painful bruise that Danarius had inflicted upon Fenris last night. Thoughts flashed through his mind of what Danarius might look like with a few less limbs. "So. What shall I learn from you today?"

"Ah! Right to the point. Good, good." Danarius shoved another tart into his already crumb-speckled mouth then rubbed his hands excitedly. "I have something to show you this morning. Something you will want to see."

"Oh?" Hawke raised an eyebrow cautiously. He didn't like the glint in the wizard's eye one bit.

Danarius leaned back in his chair, a sly look on his face. "Indeed. My greatest achievement." He clapped twice and to Hawke's surprise Fenris strode into the garden and stopped by their table.

"Fenris?" Hawke gave Danarius a puzzled look.

"Ah but he is not just any slave. Perhaps you have noticed his markings?" Danarius turned to Fenris. "Show him." Fenris gave Hawke a meaningful look and removed his shirt with a defeated shrug. His silvery markings swirled between the swell of his muscles, glinting in the early morning sun. Danarius turned back to Hawke. "He is yours now Hawke, but perhaps you would allow me to command him this morning. To show you what I have achieved here."

Hawke looked from Fenris to Danarius and back, but both were unreadable. It seemed that Danarius might reveal some secret to him here….and he had to know…."Very well."

A sickening smile crept across Danarius face and Hawke immediately knew he had made a terrible mistake. But there was no taking it back now.

Danarius stood and walked over to Fenris, who stood still as a statue, gazing forward. "When Fenris was just a boy, oh ten years back, I had an inspired idea, Hawke." He languidly traced the tattoos on Fenris' bare skin. Fenris flinched slightly but didn't move. "What if the magical properties of lyrium could be infused into the very body- the soul!- of a person? Think of the power, the untapped magic that would forever be unified therein."

Hawke stared at Fenris with new eyes. The tattoos he'd thought were just decorative, beautiful were….lyrium??! How? Pure lyrium was extremely lethal….

"Of course, such a process would be inherently dangerous." Danarius paused, thinking back to some time past. "Yes. Quite, in fact. I lost many test subjects in my attempts but I had to keep on trying…perfecting it! I knew it would work!"

Hawke finally found his voice, but still it came a bit softer than usual. "H-how is such a thing possible?"

Danarius smiled slightly and turned from Fenris to look at Hawke. "It takes a soul to bind a soul."

"You mean…..blood magic….."

"Yes, call it that if you will. I found that the lyrium would only integrate into a host when mixed with the blood of a freshly killed….test subject."  

Hawke's eyes widened even more. How many people had been killed in the foolish pursuit of Danarius' experiments? He tried to catch Fenris' eyes but the elf would not meet his gaze. He tried to stammer out something appropriately awed. "I-I see, well that is quite amazing, I must say."

Danarius basked in Hawke's appreciation, false as it was. "Indeed! And when it had finally worked, the results….well they stand before you now, your property, your slave. The perfect soldier and bodyguard. The perfect warrior. One who feels no pain save for what my magic can cause. One with strength greater than ten Qunari! Who can phase in and out of our reality and interact with the very Fade!"

Hawke seemed incredulous now. "What you describe is impossible!"

"I assure you it is possible Hawke, and Fenris will give you a demonstration. Right now." He clapped his hands again and this time two guards emerged from the castle, dragging behind them a terrified-looking human man in ragged clothes. The man was gagged and his hands were tied behind him. Danarius addressed the guards. "Tie him to the post."

The guards shoved the man against a tall stone post nearby and tied his bindings to a large metal ring embedded in the stone. Hawke felt panic rising in his throat but knew he was in no position to fight or flee- unarmed, no armor or way of escape. He had no choice but to watch this unfold.

Danarius motioned to him. "Come, Hawke. Come closer and see for yourself."

As if drawn by magic, Hawke gravitated to the tied man. He could smell his fear. His pleading eyes cut Hawke deeply.

Danarius whispered to Fenris. "Go to him. Show Hawke the power I have gifted you with."

Fenris walked up to the bound man and stood in front of him, and next to Hawke. Hawke could barely believe what happened next. The markings on Fenris' body glowed iridescent blue and seemed to…come alive on his body, swirling in impossible patterns and fractals of increasing complexity. Fenris entered a state of…concentration?…a faraway look filled his usually emotive eyes until they too began to glow a faint blue. Fenris' hand shimmered into half-invisibility and before Hawke could even scream, Fenris had plunged his hand into the tied man's chest, crushing his heart with a clench of his fist. The man spasmed and collapsed against the pole. And it was over. 

Hawke found himself on the grass of the garden without knowing how exactly he had gotten there. He just knew that Danarius was softly chuckling above him and was extending him a hand up. Hawke took a few deep breaths, then the wizard's hand, pulling up to standing once more. His mind was completely blown from what he had just witnessed. 

A murder. By Fenris. For what? Why?

But Hawke could ask him no questions, as Fenris was already halfway back to the house, and the guards were dragging away the body of the dead man. It was just Hawke and Danarius now, and he'd never felt more lost, more completely without grounding.

Danarius spoke first, "I suppose that was a bit of a shock. But now you understand so much better what I've already accomplished here."

Hawke could do little more than nod.

But Danarius went on. "And what I hope yet to achieve."

Hawke's ears pricked up here, bringing him back to the here and now. "And what is that?"

Danarius walked to the now-abandoned post, trailing a finger into a stray spray of blood. He snapped his fingers and the blood turned to fire in his hand- a brilliant blue flame that danced a few seconds and then died. "Of course I didn't stop with Fenris, Hawke."

Hawke's blood ran cold.

"I'm building an army." The smile fell from Danarius face and there instead was deadly, maniacal purpose. "And I intend for you to help me."

\-------

How Hawke got through that day, he'll never know. He moved zombie-like, drifting light as a feather from the garden to Danarius' workshop where Hawke was "introduced" to a dozen more of Danarius' creations. Some began as slaves, some did not, but each one represented hundreds of failures before the lyrium "took."

"You can choose the test subject, but the lyrium must also choose whether to incorporate." Danarius explained. "I've managed to increase the success rate but we still have much to learn and many more tests to try before we can unlock the secrets of living lyrium."

And thus, his plan began to unfold for Hawke. Danarius couldn't perform all the rituals alone--there were just too many failures for every success. No, he needed another pair of hands, skilled, magical hands, to help him in his cruel work. And who wouldn't be thrilled to probe these untold mysteries?

Hawke let Danarius talk and talk, and he nodded and smiled, but a plan of his own was beginning to take shape. If Danarius believed he would participate in what amounted to the wholesale slaughter of human test subjects, he was sorely mistaken. He had to get out of here, with Fenris, now. And he had to think of some way to disrupt the creation of any more of these lyrium soldiers. Not just to save the lives of the test subjects, but who could guess what plans Danarius would have for his extraordinary army? 

\-------

The day's end came eventually, and as Hawke headed back to his room it finally hit him that he had *no* idea how to deal with Fenris. How was he supposed to talk about what happened in the garden? Of course he couldn't forget it happened by any means, but…..well, obviously Fenris was used to killing at Danarius' command. Was it safe to trust someone who could still be commanded by the wizard- to kill?

In the end, he had to trust. He'd given Fenris his word that he would, and he would keep it. Even if he couldn't understand why Fenris had done what he'd done….and perhaps so many times before this.

But still, he hesitated a bit at his door before pushing it open, silently cursing himself, Andraste, and all the gods for contriving him to be sent here in the first place...

And as the door opened, sure enough Hawke saw Fenris in his usual spot, kneeling near the bed. He softly shut the door behind him. Immediately, Fenris started to crawl towards Hawke, grabbing his ankle, and brokenly sobbing, "Forgive me master……forgive me….please….." He released Hawke and looked up at his face, trying to read it for any signs as to what to do or say. "I had no choice……" He shook with helpless fury. "Never…never have a choice….must kill, serve, die….." He let his face fall into his hands, hiding his shame from Hawke.

Hawke's heart ached with the pain of the beautiful, broken elf at his feet. Without thinking, he dropped to his knees and reached out, grabbing Fenris and pulling him into a hard kiss, silencing him with shock. Hawke placed a hand on each side of Fenris' face, wet with tears, and leaned in, devouring him, his pain, his past, the sins Danarius has made him do, the sins no one had made him do, the memories he couldn't forget. And that loud, hopeless voice within Fenris stilled; for the first time he could remember, it faded behind the rush of blood in his ears, his heartbeat pounding into him like a earthquake. Everything in this world and the one beyond lost its grip on him when Hawke kissed him. 

After a moment, Hawke pulled back to catch his breath, but didn't let Fenris go. The look of shock on Fenris' face slowly melted into wonder. "Hawke?"

Hawke smiled and brushed a wispy piece of white hair from the elf's eyes. "I know you didn't want to…kill that man, Fenris. I know."

Fenris looked away and nodded, closing his eyes and pushing that image from his mind. "I've killed so many, Hawke. So many…beyond counting. For Danarius." He looked back to Hawke, eyes flashing. "Always for Danarius."

"You'll never have to do that again. I promise you." 

Fenris sadly shook his head. "You don't know what he's capable of." He traced Hawke's bottom lip wistfully with his finger. Softer, "You don't know what I'm capable of…"

Hawke leaned into Fenris, pushing him to the floor with Hawke above. He let his mouth find the soft hollows in Fenris' neck, feeling him tense beneath him and then relax into it. "And what are you capable of, Fenris?" He let his fingers entwine into silver hair, yanking and exposing more of Fenris' neck to his mouth. Fenris moaned softly and pulled at Hawke's shirt, his hands traveling under the fabric and across taut muscles.

Fenris finally replied, a bit breathlessly, "Didn't it disgust you, what I did today?" He raked his fingers down Hawke's back. "How can you bear to touch me?"

Hawke stopped and smiled down at Fenris. "Truthfully?"

Fenris nodded.

"I mean, Maker knows you shocked me but…"

"But what?"

"After I picked my ass up off the ground--"

"I believe Danarius did that." Fenris interrupted, smirking.

"Yes, well thank you for that reminder. Anyway, after I was no longer horizontal, I realized something."

"What?"

Hawke blushed a bit. He leaned down, pressing their bodies together, and whispered in Fenris' ear. "I was hard as hell."

Fenris' eyes went wide. "What?!"

"Well I figure that no one goes into this adventuring' business if you don't get off at least a little bit on death and destruction and the like, right? Don't get me wrong, I didn't want that man to die any more than you did. But seeing you- **you** Fenris- your power, what it did to you, to him….it was, well, a bit overwhelming."

Fenris turned his head to the side. "I'm a freak. A murderer. A slave." Locking eyes with Hawke. "I'm beneath you."

Hawke looked around dramatically and laughed. "Well that does seem to be the case doesn't it?" He pushed his body into Fenris, letting him feel for himself the effect that he was having. "To hell with dancing around this anymore, Fenris." Hawke leaned down to kiss him, nearly pinning him in the process, his tongue probing and entertwining with the elf's.  He pulled back a moment. "Maker, I want you."

Fenris looked up at Hawke, emotion brimming there, plain as a book for Hawke to read. "I'm yours."

That's all Hawke needed to hear. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long time between updates folks. I'll try to be better, promise!

**Author's Note:**

> My first work in this fandom. But Fenris srsly makes me swoon. ;) your kudos and comments keep me going!


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